Science Says Social Media is Killing Your Sex Life

We know social media is bad for democracies and mental health, but now a new study out of Portugal shows a high correlation between addiction to social media and sexual dysfunction.

Before ending things with my former partner last year for all the usual reasons, I would have said everything was hunky dory on our shared home front with one glaring exception. Or rather a glowing one. His iPhone. Before bed. Every night.

Perhaps you can relate.

“Put it down!” I’d beg. “Please. Let’s snuggle.” 

I didn’t like competing with every tweet, thought, instagram update, and tome of knowledge ever uploaded to the cloud on earth. I wanted us to be present and attuned to one another as we were falling asleep.

But as the years passed, I stopped begging. I chose to put up with this all-too-common situation, both because I loved my partner and because the rest of him—the rest of us—I decided, was worth it. His iPhone before bed was simply his price of admission, as Dan Savage so wisely calls those quirks we learn to put up with for the sake of all the other good stuff relationships provide. 

Also, I knew I was hardly alone. Whenever I’d talk to my married or partnered friends, male or female, one of the biggest complaints I’d hear was some version of, I just wish they’d keep their phone out of our bed.

Turns out, science not only agrees with those of us lamenting this nightly loss of intimacy, it has bad news for social media and smart phone addicts that has nothing to do with the mental health issues or sleep disruptions from blue light we’ve all been reading about for years. Or even the petty frustrations and lack of connection between partners when phones enter bedrooms.