When will it be enough?
Snow is falling. Our hearts are broken. Again.
“The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.” —George Orwell
Last night, after watching several different angles of Alex Pretti being assassinated; after reading the lies put out by our administration about his final minutes, when he heroically placed his body between armed thugs and the woman these men had shoved to the ground; after wondering how much longer this can go on until either 16 Republicans in Congress grow enough of a spine to vote to defund ICE or, better yet, until 23 of them (3 in the House, 20 in the Senate) grow enough of a spine to impeach or remove Trump from office, I was about to log off the internet and scream into the void when I came across a video of Dave Matthews doing a mash-up of Crosby Stills Nash and Young’s “Ohio” and Rage Against the Machine’s “Killing in the Name.”
Watch all the way to the end. I promise, it’s worth it.
Suddenly—thank god for the artists, who take our thoughts and feelings and turn them into song, words, shapes, speech, images—my tears were falling. And falling. And falling. I couldn’t stop them. I still can’t. I’m sitting here on this snowy morning in Brooklyn, staring out at the flakes floating down on Seventh Avenue, unable to stop weeping for our country. I can’t fathom how deep we’ve fallen. I can’t erase those images of Alex’s murder, of tiny Liam’s abduction, of smiling Renee trying to deescalate masked men before being assassinated and denied medical care. I can’t stop thinking about these martyrs’ parents, writhing in pain, despair, and grief, or about the parents, relatives, and friends of all the other humans stolen off our street and/or murdered, mistreated, and raped in our concentration camps.
I can’t imagine trying to explain to my four dead grandparents, all of whom fled pogroms in Eastern Europe to seek freedom on our shores, that we have become what they fled. I can’t even do the work I’m supposed to be doing this morning. I woke up at 5:00 am today to write something else, something I’m on a tight deadline to finish, but I just…can’t. All I can do is to type here into this blank space to share my grief with you. To wonder how you’re all managing to witness the collapse of America. To tell you it’s okay to cry, too.
Many of us knew, from the morning of November 6, 2024, that some version of these brutal, illegal, and amoral events to which we’ve all been forced to bear witness would one day play out here in American cities and therefore across our screens as we sat here feeling hopeless, sad, and enraged. But I’m not sure any of us could have predicted just how bloody it would be. Or how helpless, sad, and enraged it would make us feel. Even Heather Cox Richardson, that hard-working paragon of unadorned daily facts mixed with relevant history, got choked up at the tail end of her video last night. And this made me cry even harder.
Alex Pretti was a nurse with the VA hospital. My grandpa, David Schwartz, served as a doctor at the VA hospital here in New York. My daughter treated patients at a VA hospital in Buffalo. Nurses and doctors who work at VA hospitals, I can assure you, are not in it for the money, fame, status, or terrorism. They are there, unlike our leaders, because they care about the health and welfare of other humans. And they are as far from “domestic terrorists”—as our government tried to portray Pretti—as a newborn puppy is from Kristi Noem, as a baby chick is from Steven Miller, or as a tiny kitten is from Pam Bondi, Greg Bovino, Karoline Leavitt, or Donald Trump, all of whom I hope will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law whenever our version of the Nuremberg trials conclude. Spending the rest of their lives in jail seems fair to me, given the extent of their lies, obfuscations, and crimes.
I’ll end with this, the statement Pretti’s family released in the wake of his murder. And may we all find the strength to keep speaking this kind of truth to our government’s lies:
“We are heartbroken but also very angry.
Alex was a kindhearted soul who cared deeply for his family and friends and also the American veterans whom he cared for as an ICU nurse at the Minneapolis VA hospital. Alex wanted to make a difference in this world. Unfortunately, he will not be with us to see his impact.
I do not throw around the ‘hero’ term lightly. However, his last thought and act was to protect a woman. The sickening lies told about our son by the administration are reprehensible and disgusting. Alex is clearly not holding a gun when attacked by Trump’s murdering and cowardly ICE thugs. He had his phone in his right hand and his empty left hand is raised above his head while trying to protect the woman ICE just pushed down, all while being pepper sprayed.
Please get the truth out about our son. He was a good man.”
Thank you for putting into words what so many of us feel. In my life I never thought it would be this bad but the day the Supreme Court gave tRump the power he so badly wanted, I was frightened. What is so shocking and fearful is how many people agree with his cruel, illegal behavior. It has never been about migrants. It's about his power to take away everything we stand for as indicated by Pam Bondi's letter to the officials in Minnesota...."give us the voter data base and we'll call off the goons." EXTORTION in plain view! OMG! How far THEY have fallen for power expecting us to obey laws but not they themselves. We're told we will be the Blue Wave in November but whose votes will count? Some states requiring birth certificates & current ID's and if the last names don't match well too bad. You can't vote. How many women will lose that right....It keeps getting crazier & crazier.....now I have to go eat another Hershy Bar. Even that isn't making me feel better!
Oh Deb
Crying right along with you … it HAS to get better
We have to make it so
For our children, our grandchildren, and for ourselves
xo
Lena C