Take it from those of us who lived in the former Soviet Union: the best way to survive fascism is to find your тусовка (likeminded pals) and hang out with them на кухне (in a cramped kitchen.)
The day after the election I was so depressed ... I thought it might help to go to an exercise class and it did. Our teacher described how she felt “diminished” as a woman and I acknowledged that in myself. I have a 28-year old daughter who will be in her early 30s when this new nightmare is over. It was twilight as I was brooding on my walk home. Across the street, a welcoming sight: the warm lights inside our local bookstore/bar (genius combination, so right for these dark times) and faces of friends and neighbors. I didn't know the word Tusovka until today, but yes. Normally I don't drink during the week, but in that moment, I knew what I needed. I crossed the street, the bar tender poured me a tall glass of sake, I drank it all. We commiserated and counted ourselves lucky to live where we do—in a blue town in a blue state—and to have a place to go where we feel safe and seen. I know there are many people in the country who do not have that now and more who will discover very soon that they do not have that. We may see some internal refugees as the worst unfolds in the next months. Today I am still exhausted but I know we will fight back when our strength is restored. Meanwhile, we can support and love our families and friends and our communities.
I can picture you in that bookstore/bar. Lovely comment, thank you. And my daughter is 27, about to be a doctor, about to be married, and wondering how she will survive these four years, too.
Well said Deborah. An apt comparison, sadly. I'm down in West Palm Beach with signs of horrid man all around. Police everywhere. Unnerving, but I am finding my tusovka. We can, we must, endure. Part of me is going for news blackout. I will read you.
I've read Sebastian Junger's Tribe, and having read that, I realized immediately what a great idea tusovka is. I've long considered Tribe the most important book I've read in my adult life. It's fascinating, and fun, and takes less than three hours. It's all about how humans are our best selves when we're working through a difficult, dangerous situation with others.
Once you've read Tribe, you're ready to read Alfred Lansing's Endurance, about how Ernest Shackleton, and every one of his 28 men made it back to civilization over 15 months of cold, dark, and navigating through the worst waters on the planet, and eating what they could find (for a while it was penguins) after Antarctic ice chewed up their boat and spat it out. Even the guy who had the heart attack made it back. What are the chances of that? Without having read Tribe, I would have said at least 10,000 to one, maybe a million to one. But having read Tribe, I knew they were a lot higher.
Thank you Deborah, your perspective from living under an evil regime is timely and welcomed. Please don’t limit your content to just “health” topics - because it’s all related isn’t it? I’ve been so stressed and stuck in grief I haven’t been able to function mentally or physically. I’m impressed you have the mental clarity to write. You’re a bright light in a very dark time. Thank you.
This is perfect. The 90s in eastern Europe were unbearable without a tusovka. With the US heading into its crony capitalism with a splash of autocracy phase, tusovky are an appropriate remedy. To the kitchens!
The day after the election I was so depressed ... I thought it might help to go to an exercise class and it did. Our teacher described how she felt “diminished” as a woman and I acknowledged that in myself. I have a 28-year old daughter who will be in her early 30s when this new nightmare is over. It was twilight as I was brooding on my walk home. Across the street, a welcoming sight: the warm lights inside our local bookstore/bar (genius combination, so right for these dark times) and faces of friends and neighbors. I didn't know the word Tusovka until today, but yes. Normally I don't drink during the week, but in that moment, I knew what I needed. I crossed the street, the bar tender poured me a tall glass of sake, I drank it all. We commiserated and counted ourselves lucky to live where we do—in a blue town in a blue state—and to have a place to go where we feel safe and seen. I know there are many people in the country who do not have that now and more who will discover very soon that they do not have that. We may see some internal refugees as the worst unfolds in the next months. Today I am still exhausted but I know we will fight back when our strength is restored. Meanwhile, we can support and love our families and friends and our communities.
I can picture you in that bookstore/bar. Lovely comment, thank you. And my daughter is 27, about to be a doctor, about to be married, and wondering how she will survive these four years, too.
Well said Deborah. An apt comparison, sadly. I'm down in West Palm Beach with signs of horrid man all around. Police everywhere. Unnerving, but I am finding my tusovka. We can, we must, endure. Part of me is going for news blackout. I will read you.
Thanks, Nancy. Yes! Find your tusovka! It's such a useful term. xxxxx
So happy to have you in my tusovka at my kitchen table, even if it's just on my phone. I'm grateful for your voice. ❤️
Waves hello from Brooklyn... :)
That's exactly what I was thinking. This is my тусовка. Thanks, Deb Copaken.
I've read Sebastian Junger's Tribe, and having read that, I realized immediately what a great idea tusovka is. I've long considered Tribe the most important book I've read in my adult life. It's fascinating, and fun, and takes less than three hours. It's all about how humans are our best selves when we're working through a difficult, dangerous situation with others.
Once you've read Tribe, you're ready to read Alfred Lansing's Endurance, about how Ernest Shackleton, and every one of his 28 men made it back to civilization over 15 months of cold, dark, and navigating through the worst waters on the planet, and eating what they could find (for a while it was penguins) after Antarctic ice chewed up their boat and spat it out. Even the guy who had the heart attack made it back. What are the chances of that? Without having read Tribe, I would have said at least 10,000 to one, maybe a million to one. But having read Tribe, I knew they were a lot higher.
I love Junger. I will read this.
Thank you Deborah, your perspective from living under an evil regime is timely and welcomed. Please don’t limit your content to just “health” topics - because it’s all related isn’t it? I’ve been so stressed and stuck in grief I haven’t been able to function mentally or physically. I’m impressed you have the mental clarity to write. You’re a bright light in a very dark time. Thank you.
Thanks, Elizabeth. I see it as my civic duty to keep writing right now. xx
AWESOME!!!!!!
Thanks, Christina, and hi! Your art is amazing.
I love learning about words, language, and your life experiences. Fascinating. Thanks for this.
I do, too. Thank you!
This is perfect. The 90s in eastern Europe were unbearable without a tusovka. With the US heading into its crony capitalism with a splash of autocracy phase, tusovky are an appropriate remedy. To the kitchens!
Amen!
Oy to the vey…tusovka it shall be!
Sending love to you 🫶🏻
If you’re ever in Oakland, CA you can come hang out in my kitchen for some butternut squash soup and plans of revolution!