Eight years ago, Rachel Somerstein was wheeled in for an emergency c-section. "I felt that!" she called out, with the first slice into her abdomen. But no one listened.
What a brave, fierce woman/writer! I am sorry for her experience and grateful for her efforts. Had two traumatic birth experiences - in the second my doula who I had hired to help me - screwed me out of drugs I begged for. Thought I would die. I am 60 and I remember like yesterday.
Thank you, Rachel Somerstein. I would have done anything to have a book like this when I had a C-section in 1991 that was extremely traumatic emotionally and physically. I knew nothing about C-sections at all and had no one to talk to about my contradictory sense of failure and also feeling as though I didn't give birth. When I tried to talk about it everyone's response was "but you have a healthy baby." But the C-section traumatized him too, and landed him in the NICU. I couldn't visit him because I got puerperal fever from gauze left in me and was seriously ill. Of course I developed post partum depression, though didn't have that term to explain my extreme anxiousness. My baby didn't bond with me for fourteen months. On and on, total nightmare. Women need much more help around C-sections.
I'm so sorry that you had such a terrible experience. "But you have a healthy baby" is so difficult because it negates what you went through--and, to your point, what your baby went through too. Thank you for sharing this, and yes, exactly: women need so much more support around c-sections!
I've had two c-sections. The first because my daughter turned breach at 36 weeks. I had no clue that could happen at that late stage. I went to the hospital for a turn and presented with high blood pressure so I had a sudden c-section. I was cleared for a VBAC with my second child but ultimately my water broke, I wasn't dilated and I had high blood pressure (again). It turns out it's a really good thing I never pushed as I had a window in my uterus from my first c-section. The OBGYN was flippant about this when he told me. With both of my pregnancies, I had hyperemesis and high blood pressure at 38 weeks. My mom had preeclampsia with me and I had asked with my first if I was at higher risk. I was told no. Now research clearly shows that preeclampsia is inheritable. There's so much we don't understand about women's health simply because we've never studied it. Can't wait to reach Rachel's book and happy to see her writing highlighted here!
And you know, it's incredible that we live in a world where preeclampsia can't (yet) be prevented, particularly when there is a genetic element. Likewise for hyperemesis--in terms of effective treatments too. So much is under-researched when it comes to women's health--simply, as you point out, because we haven't bothered to do so.
Yes! I was told baby aspirin would prevent preeclampsia the second time but like clockwork I hit week 38 and my BP spiked. You are right it’s incredible that we can’t prevent preeclampsia.
The adhesions from a c-section make colonoscopies more difficult and complicated. There’s the difficulty of caring for your other kids — no less the new baby — after a c-section. Extra maternity leave???! It’s maternity leave & sick pay together. I’ll also say — after 3 c-sections — there’s PTSD!
The U.S. is a joke of a country when it comes to proper maternity leave. Leaves women vulnerable and is so dangerous. I feel like I've been screaming this into the void for 29 years, ever since my first child was born. We've not only had zero progress since, we've gone backwards in terms of women's health. It's so sad. And insane.
I’m so deeply sorry for the pain and horror and trauma so many of you and your children been through and so utterly disgusted by the extreme lack of interest or care by the medical profession. But please don’t feel like you’ve been screaming into the void about anything - at the very least, you’re helping so many women understand our bodies better so that we can advocate for ourselves, our family members, and our friends. And I believe you’re making a different for the next generation of doctors.
Thank you so much for saying this, Elizabeth. I too believe that speaking openly about these experiences makes a difference, and it means a lot to hear you say that, too.
After starting and stopping this essay multiple times, I just finished reading it. Talking about c-sections is so important. So few people know my story. I am do grateful that you shared yours. I survived a traumatic c-section and emergency hysterectomy 4 years ago. EMDR and therapy have helped, as well as getting my medical records to learn more about what happened. I felt it too. I was yelling that what they were doing was torture. They continued. I look forward to reading your book, knowing I am not alone and not crazy.
Thank you for sharing your experience here. On a far lesser scale, I once screamed at an orthopedic surgeon cutting into my foot that I was feeling every slice. "Impossible," he said, and kept cutting. It was only when I was jerking my foot away from him with such force that he could not do his job that he decided to give me another shot of lidocaine. And still I cried through the whole thing. And I was awake the whole time. Local anesthesia. Took me several weeks to be able to walk on it. The next time I had to have this same surgery (Morton's neuroma) on my right foot instead of my left, 22 years later, I mentally braced myself for the horror and lack of mobility. The new surgeon was aghast at what I told him about the surgery in 1995. "You mean, he didn't put you under? That's insane." That surgery went off without a hitch. He put me under, and I woke up with a foot I could actually walk on days later.
Thank you for sharing this and I'm so sorry for what you went through. I'm glad for you that you found EMDR and therapy and that getting your records has helped you. I hope that the book can be helpful for you too. One reason I wrote it was because I also felt so alone.
And: you are not alone. So many mothers have written to me to tell me that they went through something similar.
What a brave, fierce woman/writer! I am sorry for her experience and grateful for her efforts. Had two traumatic birth experiences - in the second my doula who I had hired to help me - screwed me out of drugs I begged for. Thought I would die. I am 60 and I remember like yesterday.
The traumas stay. For sure. Sorry for what you went through!
Thanks for sharing this and I'm so sorry to hear that you went through this. And--sorry to hear, but I feel similarly--the memories don't fade.
Thank you, Rachel Somerstein. I would have done anything to have a book like this when I had a C-section in 1991 that was extremely traumatic emotionally and physically. I knew nothing about C-sections at all and had no one to talk to about my contradictory sense of failure and also feeling as though I didn't give birth. When I tried to talk about it everyone's response was "but you have a healthy baby." But the C-section traumatized him too, and landed him in the NICU. I couldn't visit him because I got puerperal fever from gauze left in me and was seriously ill. Of course I developed post partum depression, though didn't have that term to explain my extreme anxiousness. My baby didn't bond with me for fourteen months. On and on, total nightmare. Women need much more help around C-sections.
Thank you for sharing your experience as well! And sorry for what you went through.
I'm so sorry that you had such a terrible experience. "But you have a healthy baby" is so difficult because it negates what you went through--and, to your point, what your baby went through too. Thank you for sharing this, and yes, exactly: women need so much more support around c-sections!
This is so interesting and vital, thank you for the short summary, wonderfuly clear and giving me the urgent need to buy the book !
I feel for Rachel and all the other women sharing their experience.
Do get the book. It’s well written and enlightening!
Thank you so much!
I've had two c-sections. The first because my daughter turned breach at 36 weeks. I had no clue that could happen at that late stage. I went to the hospital for a turn and presented with high blood pressure so I had a sudden c-section. I was cleared for a VBAC with my second child but ultimately my water broke, I wasn't dilated and I had high blood pressure (again). It turns out it's a really good thing I never pushed as I had a window in my uterus from my first c-section. The OBGYN was flippant about this when he told me. With both of my pregnancies, I had hyperemesis and high blood pressure at 38 weeks. My mom had preeclampsia with me and I had asked with my first if I was at higher risk. I was told no. Now research clearly shows that preeclampsia is inheritable. There's so much we don't understand about women's health simply because we've never studied it. Can't wait to reach Rachel's book and happy to see her writing highlighted here!
Wow. So much ignorance about our bodies, for sure. Thanks for sharing your experience(s)!
And you know, it's incredible that we live in a world where preeclampsia can't (yet) be prevented, particularly when there is a genetic element. Likewise for hyperemesis--in terms of effective treatments too. So much is under-researched when it comes to women's health--simply, as you point out, because we haven't bothered to do so.
Yes! I was told baby aspirin would prevent preeclampsia the second time but like clockwork I hit week 38 and my BP spiked. You are right it’s incredible that we can’t prevent preeclampsia.
The adhesions from a c-section make colonoscopies more difficult and complicated. There’s the difficulty of caring for your other kids — no less the new baby — after a c-section. Extra maternity leave???! It’s maternity leave & sick pay together. I’ll also say — after 3 c-sections — there’s PTSD!
The U.S. is a joke of a country when it comes to proper maternity leave. Leaves women vulnerable and is so dangerous. I feel like I've been screaming this into the void for 29 years, ever since my first child was born. We've not only had zero progress since, we've gone backwards in terms of women's health. It's so sad. And insane.
I didn't even know that about colonoscopies--wow! This is so important to know. Thanks for sharing this.
I’m so deeply sorry for the pain and horror and trauma so many of you and your children been through and so utterly disgusted by the extreme lack of interest or care by the medical profession. But please don’t feel like you’ve been screaming into the void about anything - at the very least, you’re helping so many women understand our bodies better so that we can advocate for ourselves, our family members, and our friends. And I believe you’re making a different for the next generation of doctors.
Thanks, Elizabeth. These are lovely, kind words.
Thank you so much for saying this, Elizabeth. I too believe that speaking openly about these experiences makes a difference, and it means a lot to hear you say that, too.
After starting and stopping this essay multiple times, I just finished reading it. Talking about c-sections is so important. So few people know my story. I am do grateful that you shared yours. I survived a traumatic c-section and emergency hysterectomy 4 years ago. EMDR and therapy have helped, as well as getting my medical records to learn more about what happened. I felt it too. I was yelling that what they were doing was torture. They continued. I look forward to reading your book, knowing I am not alone and not crazy.
Thank you for sharing your experience here. On a far lesser scale, I once screamed at an orthopedic surgeon cutting into my foot that I was feeling every slice. "Impossible," he said, and kept cutting. It was only when I was jerking my foot away from him with such force that he could not do his job that he decided to give me another shot of lidocaine. And still I cried through the whole thing. And I was awake the whole time. Local anesthesia. Took me several weeks to be able to walk on it. The next time I had to have this same surgery (Morton's neuroma) on my right foot instead of my left, 22 years later, I mentally braced myself for the horror and lack of mobility. The new surgeon was aghast at what I told him about the surgery in 1995. "You mean, he didn't put you under? That's insane." That surgery went off without a hitch. He put me under, and I woke up with a foot I could actually walk on days later.
Thank you for sharing this and I'm so sorry for what you went through. I'm glad for you that you found EMDR and therapy and that getting your records has helped you. I hope that the book can be helpful for you too. One reason I wrote it was because I also felt so alone.
And: you are not alone. So many mothers have written to me to tell me that they went through something similar.